Member-only story
Count decisions, not blessings.
Time to own everything.
Everyone has had conversations like this:
“Wow, you look so well rested! What’s your secret?”
“I make sure I get eight hours sleep a night.”
“You’re so lucky! Oh, to be young and have no kids/a remote job/free time.”
Just once, I’d like to reply, “Yeah, it’s awesome!”
But that would probably lose me a few friends.
We’re not supposed to be happy about being happy in these modern times. To be happy about our own happiness (or even just about things working out) implies that we look down on the other saps that didn’t make our same decisions.
Instead, we’re supposed to externalize our happiness. We’re “blessed” to have the jobs we do, free time available to us, the kind and considerate partner, etc.. It’s all just such a blessing. We should be so grateful!
I have a problem with being grateful, and it’s this: To call something a blessing is to deny yourself of any agency in achieving your own happiness.
Why conscript something as important as happiness to an abstract gift? I have PMDD; if happiness was something given to me by something as abstract as the universe I’d be rolling a monthly deficit on the regular.
